Getting out of the house

Motherhood is total of contradictions, failures, victories, in addition to downright ridiculousness. Here's what a mom thinks getting out of the household amongst lots of kids...

1. "Today is going to live on such a skillful day. Much meliorate than yesterday."
2. "Why are nosotros starting this struggle now?"
3. "First fourth dimension out earlier I've fifty-fifty had my showtime loving cup of coffee."
4. "...I gauge nosotros are playing how many kids tin halt upward inward fourth dimension out earlier breakfast is over."
5. "All right. Fresh start to the day. Today truly volition live on a swell day."
6. "How are they non hungry? Don't kids postulate to a greater extent than breakfast than this?"
7. "We waste matter hence much bloody food. So. Much. Bloody. Food. Why don't they tending nigh that?"
8. "I promise they spot the clothes on I spot out... Nope. They are opening their closets. Dammit."
9. "No i is leaving the household dressed similar that. How did he fifty-fifty mash himself into that shirt? Isn't that a size 18-month shirt?!"
10. "They expect hence cute all dressed."
11. "Omigosh. Will I e'er larn dressed? I'm going to convey to leave of absence inward pajamas."
12. "I wonder if anyone tin tell I haven't washed my pilus inward 4 days. And am wearing my husband's shirt."
13. "Oh. My. Gosh. Why is it hence difficult to spot on shoes? How create all of their shoes larn missing overnight?"
14. "Seriously. Where are the other shoes? How create nosotros convey a stack of alone correct shoes?"
15. "It can't live on an accident that the shoe bin alone has correct shoes inward it. Where are the left shoes?"
16. "Who the heck spot all the left shoes inward backpacks? When did they convey fourth dimension to create this? How did I non run into this happening?"
17. "How did nosotros uncovering every left shoe except the ones nosotros need?"
18. "I don't tending that it is raining inward October. They are wearing flip flops. We convey a span of flip flops for each foot. It's fine. We are leaving. Being belatedly is worse than inappropriate footwear."
19. "How the heck did the left shoes all halt upward inward the van? I know they wore their shoes inward the household yesterday. I recollect them wearing their shoes inward yesterday."
20. "Had to live on a unlike day. Did nosotros leave of absence the household yesterday?"
21. "Well, forthwith they convey appropriate footwear. Omigosh, they expect hence cute today. I dear their footling outfits. Just i picture..."
22. "CAN THEY NOT JUST SMILE FOR H5N1 PICTURE REAL FAST."
23. "Forget it. It's fine. Let's go. WHY ARE THEY CRYING."
24. "He forgot pants?! He was only fully dressed strapped inward his automobile seat?! Where did his pants go?!"
25. "Why did I convey kids?!"
26. "I should convey had i kid. Or ii kids. Four is a lot. Five is a lot. Maybe this was also many kids."
27. "I intend I would live on a swell mom of i or ii kids."
28. "...or not. Because if nosotros had stopped at i or ii kids, hence I wouldn't convey the perspective of 4 or 5 kids. So ii kids would likely nevertheless live on stressful."
29. "Plus, when nosotros went to convey our minute kid, nosotros had twins. So that automatically spot us at a crazy sum of kids. Three kids was crazy."
30. "I experience similar I've gone crazy."
31. "I left my java inside."
32. "There are his damn pants. How did his damn pants halt upward inward the entry way?"
33. "Okay, fine, but who else has to larn pee? All of you. Okay. Fine. It's fine. Better hither than equally before long equally nosotros larn there."
34. "No, you lot aren't changing."
35. "No, nosotros aren't wearing flip flops."
36. "No, nosotros aren't going inward costumes. Seriously, no costumes. Put downwardly the low-cal saber."
37. "My shirt is backwards. That's why I've felt similar it's choking me."
38. "SERIOUSLY. THEY COULD SEE MY SHIRT WAS OFF. WHY WOULD THEY OPEN THE FRONT DOOR."
39. "Omigosh. My vecino is outside. Did she run into me amongst my shirt off?"
40. "And a kid is laying on the driveway wailing."
41. "Could I expect similar a worse parent?"
42. "One, two, three, four, 5 kids inward the car. All buckled. Except one."
43. "Four kids. Four kids are inward the car. Where's the fifth?"
44. "On the flooring inward the backseat. Why is he on the floor?"
45. "We are literally never leaving."
46. "Is it fifty-fifty worth going at this point?"
47. "He flora a penny. Okay, he's buckled up. Now I convey to banking enterprise check carseats again..."
48. "One, two, three, four, five. Good to go."
49. "Look at us! Everyone dressed. Everyone buckled. Getting out of the house! This volition live on a fun day."
50. "Omigosh, nosotros are hence late. SO LATE. But I convey 5 kids, hence everyone volition likely understand. They meliorate understand."
51. "I should nevertheless live on on fourth dimension though. I should instruct my kids timeliness."
52. "It's non the world's error I convey 5 kids. I should live on on time."
53. "But nosotros aren't that late. Pretty good, actually. Fashionably late."
54. "I'm hence glad nosotros are going. It's dainty to larn out. It's skillful for the children too."
55. "I don't desire to toot my ain horn, but nosotros are rocking it this morning!"
56. "I dear beingness a mom. And our kids are hence good."
57. "Could they live on whatever cuter?"
58. "WHO BROUGHT H5N1 LIGHT SABER IN THE CAR?"
59. "Is he bleeding?!"
60. "ARE THEY ALL CRYING?!"

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