Stay-at-home momma

Washington DC Dec 2011

One of the things most beingness a stay-at-home mom is that you lot never get a break. There is no "lunch hour." I can't tell my kids, "Sorry, guys, Momma is on her half." No. It is a 24/7 job. And when things are fossil oil is when I am needed most. My hubby too I were talking the other 24-hour interval most what it is similar when he comes domicile too asks "So, what did you lot guys exercise all day?" or "Have you lot packed my tiffin yet?" He said that sometimes he thinks that I recall (follow that?) he tin exercise whatever he wants when he leaves the house, that his chore isn't hard. I told him apartment out no way. I recall his chore is exceptionally challenging. I know he industrial plant hard. I know he studies hard. I know he is nether a lot of pressure. The fundamental divergence betwixt his chore straightaway (college) too my chore (stay-at-home mother) is that when he's stuck on a hard work he tin receive got 5, become teach a loving cup of coffee, too approach the work amongst a cleared mind. He has other bonuses every bit well: he has adult interactions during the day, he gets affirmation that he's doing a skillful chore (I would dearest someone telling me, "A+ move today!"), too his success is measured. Honestly, I recall he industrial plant harder than I do. My chore is similar a flow running downward a mountain. It is steady, daily move that few people notice, but that flow does receive got a purpose. I know that my chore is of import too I bask my job. But, man, at that spot are days when you lot merely can't choose grip of a break. One kid wakes upwardly inward a bad mood, the other wants to pass the entire 24-hour interval yanking downward everything inward sight piece the start kid screams whenever you lot pose him down, too the preschooler asks over too over again, "When volition he halt crying? Can nosotros become ride bikes? Can nosotros become on a walk? Can you lot play amongst me? Do you lot desire to snuggle?" Those are the days that your hubby calls too says, "Did you lot teach my PT materials washed?" Not exclusively is the response "no," but your dryer is total of now-wrinkly clothing too your washer is total too belike needs to teach ran i time again on high rut thence the clothing don't aroma moldy. Plus you lot originally planned to brand something for dinner that required 10 minutes of prep move too stirring-- non happening piece children are screaming too clinging on you.

The hardest days for me are the ones where I am busy non-stop. Like when nosotros receive got preschool drib off too selection up, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping (even when it is merely an online selection up-- nonetheless gotta pose the groceries away!), mayhap a playdate thrown inward there, too laundry. And dishes. Always those blasted dishes. The toddlers are fussy. The preschooler is grouchy. The domestic dog is wild. I'm distracted. Or merely getting a fiddling cranky amongst kids hanging on me crying. And I exercise the best that I tin all day. Giving the kids hugs too smiles. Trying to involve them inward my chores too errands. Singing songs amongst them piece nosotros move or wait. I struggle through bedtime yesteryear myself. O doesn't desire to exercise his medicine thence nosotros sing songs together for the entire nebulizer treatment. I continue telling C to halt pulling DVDs off the shelf. D doesn't desire to become to bed when Daddy isn't home. The toddlers don't desire to brush teeth; they desire to yank everything out of the bath cupboards. No i wants to calm downward for stories too prayers; they desire to line my pilus too scrap over my lap. I finally, finally, finally teach them all downward to bed to come upwardly out, pour a drinking glass of wine, too start working my way through the dishes. Then I selection upwardly all the toys merely about the house. Put all the unloosen socks I discovery inward the hamper. Finally, finally, finally sit down downward on the couch to pet the domestic dog too pose my feet upwardly when my hubby walks inward the door, "Hey, would you lot heed packing my lunch? I receive got a lot to teach done tonight. I receive got a newspaper due at 11:30 pm." Whenever that happens I teach an icon inward my heed of a cartoon balloon popping too flight through the air every bit it deflates.

It is hard to pose into words what I exercise every bit a stay-at-home mom. I met upwardly amongst a girl of mine at the commons today. We haven't seen each other inward a pair weeks. She says, "How receive got things been going since I saw you lot last?" And you lot think... wow. Miscarriage, vacation, O's asthma, day to 24-hour interval life amongst iii kids... How exercise you lot limited it all? I say, "Pretty good. You?" And I know she's thinking medical stresses amongst i of her children, life amongst iii kids (kindergartner addition twins), husband's move schedule, 24-hour interval to 24-hour interval life... And she says, "Pretty good." And too then nosotros create total each other in. We both know how crazy our 24-hour interval to 24-hour interval life is. We both know how we've been stressing most our kids. We both know how hectic it is managing our kids merely about our husband's move schedule. But it is hard to pose it inward words. When nosotros left the park, she had to become teach her oldest from the bus. Mine was inward the dorsum of the automobile yelling, "I receive got to pee!" One of my toddlers was pouring a juice box inward betwixt his legs onto his automobile seat. Unloading the van at home, both toddlers sprinted downward the driveway to the road. I pose them downward to nap piece they kicked too screamed (and strangely calmed downward during prayers). When I walked into the kitchen after putting them downward to nap, I establish my oldest at the tabular array amongst permanent markers too gum sticks. The domestic dog establish an orangish stuffed within a shoe. Our days weren't over-- or whatsoever easier-- after chasing toddlers merely about a commons for a pair hours.

I recall the best way to depict beingness a stay-at-home mom is "constant stimulation."

There is no compartmentalizing anything. You can't schedule the 24-hour interval too say, "Okay, kids. We are going to alter diapers at 9:00 am, too then breakfast from 9:15-9:30. After breakfast you lot tin receive got fifteen minutes of playtime piece I construct clean upwardly the dishes..." Even every bit I write this spider web log my oldest is saying, "Hey, Mom, await at all these stickers I have. Hey, Mom, when tin I scout Dinosaur Train? Hey, Mom, does pigment come upwardly out of hair? Hey, Mom, when is our dog's birthday?" And the diaper changing is constant. This morning time O had a stinky diaper when he woke up. C had a stinky diaper after breakfast. O had some other small-scale stinky diaper piece I was cleaning upwardly breakfast, too then some other small-scale stinky diaper earlier nosotros did his breathing treatment. C went downward for a brusk morning time nap too and then woke upwardly amongst a stinky diaper! Including C's moisture diaper this morning time too his moisture diaper earlier morning time nap, I changed seven diapers earlier noon.

Picture taken yesteryear TwinBug Photography
at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

This morning time didn't become every bit planned. Not exclusively did our plans autumn through for this morning, but C woke upwardly inward a correct fiddling mood. He didn't desire to sit down inward his high chair for breakfast. He didn't desire to swallow his breakfast after I convinced him to sit down inward his high chair. He didn't desire me to pose him down. And he didn't desire to halt crying or fussing fifty-fifty when I was belongings him. Eventually I merely pose him downward for a nap. His eyes were closed earlier I finished proverb prayers amongst him. When i kid is acting this way, I nonetheless receive got other things I demand to teach done. I nonetheless demand to teach myself ready. I nonetheless demand to brand the other boys breakfast. I nonetheless demand to feed the dog. I nonetheless demand to teach D to preschool on fourth dimension (or every bit closed to on fourth dimension every bit possible!). Life doesn't merely interruption because i of the children would rather pass the morning crying inward my lap.

If you've read my tab, "How exercise you lot exercise it?", you lot volition receive got already seen this:

As much every bit I dearest my job, sometimes I experience insecure most whether or non I am "doing the correct thing." There is thence much going on, from supporting my hubby inward his career to beingness a full-time "domestic engineer." Sometimes I wishing someone would come upwardly yesteryear the theatre too say, "You know how your fiddling guy has the same tantrum everyday for the same reason? Well, you lot are handling it the correct way. You are doing such a keen chore beingness loving, yet firm. In most ii months he volition grow out of that too you lot volition receive got instilled a keen lesson inward him. And, yesteryear the way, you lot should hold off a calendar month or ii after you lot teach your orders earlier you lot move. Your hubby tin assist you lot movement too then too your oldest volition easily transfer kindergartens. Keep upwardly the skillful work." But at that spot is no i knocking on my door letting me know whether or non nosotros are making the correct parenting decisions.

Sometimes the hardest matter most beingness a stay-at-home mom is that you lot teach no credit. Your kids don't give thank you lot you for changing their diapers; they genuinely scrap you lot molar too boom the entire diaper change. Your hubby belike won't notice that you lot finished the laundry (unless you lot are similar me too really behind on the laundry). In fact, most of the time, the exclusively feedback you lot teach is negative. I don't recall my hubby realizes what he's proverb when he asks, "When volition you lot teach the grocery shopping done? I'd genuinely dearest some extra things for my lunch." I don't recall he way anything when he says, "When volition the laundry live done?" And I know my preschooler isn't making statements most my parenting when he begs to become exterior on a beautiful 24-hour interval or asks me to read him a story piece I'm cooking dinner (always breaks my pump when he asks to exercise things I would love to exercise amongst him but can't for i argue or another). And I know my toddlers aren't trying to brand me await similar a bad mom when they repeatedly yank everything off shelves or throw tantrums when I tell them no or flail inward shopping carts. And all those wonderful strangers that similar to give me parenting advice piece nosotros are out inward public-- gotta dearest them. I know all of this isn't a written report menu on my mightiness to live a stay-at-home mom, but it certain is frustrating to come across no progress too somehow makes me experience similar I'm failing on some level.

Sometimes things merely don't pan out similar I would similar them to. Sometimes the toddlers are sick too I can't receive got them outside. Sometimes the 24-hour interval is also busy for me to teach the grocery shopping done. Sometimes I start laundry too totally forget most it because my 24-hour interval is out of control.

Most of the time, I receive got a valid argue why something doesn't teach done. I am, after all, i person. My to-do listing is never completed. At the moment, nosotros are going through all those black corners inward our theatre that junk collects thence that nosotros are prepared for our movement to South Carolina (I demand a break. I don't recall that merely because you lot rest domicile amongst the kids way you lot receive got to move similar an indentured servant. There are times when I receive got to a greater extent than breaks than other times. For instance, when the kids are sick-- i or all of them-- I exercise no move at nap fourth dimension that doesn't receive got to teach done. I don't teach the theatre dorsum upwardly to "visitor standards;" I teach out the toys all over the flooring too I endeavour to remainder earlier they wake upwardly again. If I experience myself merely losing patience or feeling exhausted, peculiarly during this finally pregnancy, I follow the same rule. On a regular day, similar today, I give myself an hr or two. I selection things upwardly thence I don't receive got a whole day's worth of mess to construct clean upwardly later. I prep dinner thence I'm non doing all the prep move after the toddlers wake upwardly from nap. But then, I exercise something I desire to do, fifty-fifty if at that spot is to a greater extent than move to live done. Our preschooler has some tranquillity fourth dimension (right straightaway he's doing art) too I receive got some "me time." Most days I read. Some days I choose grip of upwardly on the Bachelor. Today I'm blogging.

But my fourth dimension is up. The laundry needs to live moved. The dishes demand to live done. Dinner needs to arrive the oven. The toddlers volition live upwardly inward T minus lx minutes...

How exercise you lot bargain amongst the challenges of beingness a rest at domicile parent?

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