Unique to twins?

There are a lot of things close having twins that are hard to pose into words or hard for people without twins to understand. For some things, parenting twins is double the work. For other things, it is one-half the work. I absolutely dearest existence a momma to identical twins.

However, I read some of these articles close parenting twins or speak to some people alongside multiples too it feels similar they are trying to brand parenting twins far to a greater extent than unique or unusual than it is. Some of the things involved inward parenting twins applies to parenting to a greater extent than than i child. Having twins inward itself is special too unique. Why acquire inward bigger than it is? Why tell things inward a agency that puts downwards other moms, peculiarly since most moms are moms of singletons? It feels similar it is making a divide, when at that topographic point is no demand to create to a greater extent than mommy contest than at that topographic point is already.

I was reading this article too it seemed to embrace all the bases for most of the "unique" twin things I hear a lot, "9 things only parents of twins volition understand," past times Megan Shauri on FamilyShare. I went through the points she made regarding "unique twin things" too expanded on them, since many of them are non twin-exclusive, too some apply to sibling groups but are a niggling dissimilar for twins.

1. "People volition inquire inappropriate questions."

Totally concur alongside this one. We receive got heard some wildly inappropriate questions-- peculiarly inward front end of our children-- equally to how our twins were conceived. Even at nowadays I acquire asked if they are natural. But at nowadays that nosotros receive got 4 children, nosotros hear a lot of inappropriate comments, especially because they are all boys, these also said inward front end of my iv precious children. Comments I've heard from strangers:

"If I had 4 boys, I'd pose a gun inward my mouth."

"Having 4 boys is the worst thing that I intend could ever plough over off to me."

"Are you lot an alcoholic? I would survive if I had 4 boys."

"God bless you lot because I can't intend of a worse thing than having 4 boys."

"Better you lot than me because that sounds miserable."

I know the writer was referring to fertility/conception when stating the inappropriate questions. When people inquire close our boys ("Yes, all boys, all mine") they normally notice two are the same pinnacle too aspect the same ("Yes, they are identical twins") too I volition sometimes hear if nosotros "planned" them-- because using our magic looking drinking glass nosotros knew downwards the route that our 4th child would survive some other boy? So nosotros stance let's do twin boys for children #2 too #3?

"Good Lord, I'm hence thankful I don't receive got twin boys."

"Twin boys! That is horrible. Wow, I receive got ever wanted twins, but never twin boys."

"I'm surprised you lot are out of the solid too dressed. If I had twin boys, I would remain inward bed crying all day."

Note on that: people actually demand to halt using the Lord's call inward vain to curse my blessings.

2. "You receive got to larn to speak twin."

This is the firstly bespeak she makes that I really don't concur with. Twin language? Really? This is i that only makes me milkshake my head...

Anyone who has raised a toddler knows how linguistic communication gets warped too distorted equally their kid learns words. Dirty diaper becomes "bo bo;" H2O becomes "wah." I've met people inward adulthood who are notwithstanding called past times the call they referred themselves to when they were three-years old, unable to pronounce their total name.

Then you lot receive got ii children learning linguistic communication at the same fourth dimension who pass all twenty-four sixty minutes catamenia together... yeah, they babble too sometimes it appears they receive got invented a niggling language. But they haven't. They are babbling. We receive got taken our boys-- all 3 of the older ones-- on playdates where they are playing alongside their peers too their friends fifty-fifty seem to know what they are talking about.

I attribute this to the fact that these children are only used to non agreement a lot of what is existence said to them. Up until that bespeak inward their cognitive life, they receive got had a earth of people talking over them too at them. And hence they are imitating what was modeled for them, only similar they do alongside everything else. You give them a pot too a spoon, they pretend to develop {until they start beating their blood brother alongside the spoon...}.

Our boys receive got all gone to spoken language therapy. With our oldest, nosotros were taught non to encourage his mutated words. Even when he said words inward an absolutely adorable way, we were to repeat it dorsum to him correctly hence he learned the right pronunciation. With our twins, nosotros were taught non to encourage their "twin speak," fifty-fifty when it was hilarious. When i babbled a give-and-take incorrectly, nosotros were to repeat it dorsum correctly.

Honestly, nosotros never had an number alongside "twin talk." I receive got met many people that strongly believe inward twin language. Strongly. We receive got had historic catamenia appropriate babble from our children that seemed to survive understood past times each other-- fifty-fifty our oldest. Our twins would survive fussing inward their high chairs, yelling some undecipherable flow of words, too our oldest would say, "Mom, he wants the red motorcar and he wants his blanket!" subsequently my attempts of appeasing them failed. Our oldest would diligently fetch these items; his brothers would receive got them too forthwith halt fussing, their attending fully absorbed inward their treasures.

As our twins receive got grown, nosotros receive got encouraged right language. When nosotros figure out a hard to pronounce give-and-take that they receive got been struggling over, nosotros larn to recognize it inward their spoken language too move alongside them on the right pronunciation. It doesn't brand sense to me to latch on to toddler speak too dub it twin language.

When I tell people, no, our twins do non receive got a hole-and-corner language, they normally launch into how their cousin's twins could read each other's minds. One would only flare-up out crying too the other would move out acquire a for sure toy too the twin would halt crying because they only knew. My sisters too I were ever rattling unopen too ever anticipated/knew what the other sis wanted, only from our surroundings/past experience/knowing each other. Siblings receive got a bond. Twins receive got a leg upward on this sibling bond because from their minute of invention they receive got been thrown together equally a pair, fifty-fifty inward family's where the sibling bond is oftentimes ignored or left to grow on it's ain without parental guidance.

3. "You volition never halt existence asked if they are twins."

My sisters too I aspect similar replicas of each other. We used to abide by it so amusing when people asked us if nosotros are twins. Sometimes nosotros said yes; it was all a game to us. Now that I'm grown alongside a laid of identical twins... it isn't the game it was then. Our boys are three-years quondam too I'm non for sure I tin actually bring how oftentimes nosotros are asked if they are twins. It isn't that I hear talking to people or that I'm non friendly; I experience similar I am rattling friendly too open. I dearest our boys too dearest talking close all of them. It is only that nosotros acquire asked at every store, at every errand, at the guard shack driving on base, at Chick-Fil-A when nosotros walk inward the door, when nosotros order, when nosotros are sitting at our table, past times the parents inward the play area, past times the swain patrons around us, on our agency out to the parking lot... We seem to move out inward waves of existence asked if they are twins. We volition only acquire asked on some of our errands too and hence other times nosotros are asked e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e every fourth dimension nosotros move out out. {Mind you, I do non clothing our twins alike. I sometimes pose all of our boys inward matching/coordinating outfits for events too such, but non our every twenty-four sixty minutes catamenia wear.}

4. "There is no such thing equally only running to the shop quickly."

This bespeak made past times the writer was i of those comments that brand singleton parents glare at twin parents. Because leaving the solid alongside i kid is so easy too singleton parents receive got no stance how easy they receive got it?

As a parent of singleton first, I tin tell you lot that it is non that easy. Our first child was a breath holder from half dozen weeks to 3 years. It was intense. And going from buckling no motorcar seats equally a gratis agent adult to buckling a motorcar topographic point every fourth dimension you lot leave of absence the house, it is a large change.

Now equally a parent of 4, I tin tell you lot leaving the solid alongside i kid is not the project it used to be. Buckling i motorcar seat and taking i kid inward when I receive got 3 to a greater extent than children inward motorcar seats staying domicile alongside Dad feels similar much less work. That sounds similar I'm saying that i motorcar topographic point is easy...

No, what I'm maxim is that it is relative. Having your firstly babe is a major learning curve. Having your quaternary babe is much easier. Things don't surprise you lot hence much. I aspect to receive got some fussiness inward the store, peradventure some crying inward the car. I aspect babies to survive loud too disruptive inward populace too know what historic catamenia appropriate behaviors from our toddlers are. I bask going out too having i on one fourth dimension alongside only i kid too appreciate non having to do zone defence downwards the aisle of the commissary.

If I could move out dorsum inward fourth dimension at that topographic point are hence many things I would survive much to a greater extent than relaxed close alongside our first, but I can't because I was figuring it out then. I had no stance what to aspect at each of the ages too stages. There are definitely times at nowadays that I hear a mom of i complaining to me close how their solid is a mess too I do desire to express joy out loud, thinking close the uphill battle I receive got at domicile alongside our 4 children. But I receive got been inward that mom's shoes. I know how that mom feels too I know those feelings are real.

5. "The learning flexure for sibling rivalry happens much sooner."

I intend this actually sums upward a lot of the differences betwixt twins too singletons, non the sibling rivalry, but that things plough over off much sooner. Instead of easing into balancing sibling groups, you lot are thrown into it. We went from one kid to three children-- a large transition! As soul who rarely pushed a stroller alongside our first, I was too hence taking a stroller that could hold three children everywhere nosotros went-- two infant carriers, two bottles, two sets of babe toys too blankets to move out along runway of, three children to balance. And when our twins became mobile it was much to a greater extent than hard finding a house for our oldest to do toddler activities, similar Playmobile sets. He would force his toys away from i babe only to survive accosted past times the other baby. It was a lot for him to receive got in. Our trend of parenting changed a lot going from one kid to three children, though at that topographic point has been a much smaller shift going from three children to four.

6. "They really dearest existence together."

This i is some other stretch. How is this only twins? Our boys fuss too struggle too bicker all twenty-four sixty minutes catamenia long. But they freak out if i of them leaves. They worry close the babe when I leave of absence the solid alongside only him, "Don't forget to feed him spell you lot are gone!" Thank you, 6-year old; I volition recollect to do that! They worry when my hubby leaves alongside whatever combination of them-- our 6-year quondam too a 3-year old; both the 3-year olds... They are hence excited when their brothers come upward domicile subsequently whatever amount of fourth dimension away. "Where did you lot go?! Did you lot receive got fun?!" Whenever nosotros move out anywhere-- Dr. appointments, pianoforte lessons, etc-- too the i alongside me is offered stickers or suckers or treats, he demands 3 to a greater extent than for his brothers. They all aspect out for each other. We receive got encouraged from the starting fourth dimension the sibling bond, the band of brothers. It is hence of import for brothers to receive got each other's backs.

7. "It feels similar your kids grow upward faster."

It is weird to me having ii transcend through the phases together. It feels... different. We seem to hit the phases fast too furious. We binged on toys to brand our twenty-four sixty minutes catamenia easier; nosotros receive got hence many babe toy hand-me-downs, ii of everything, because it was easier to give them each a toy inward their Bumbo. We had ii swings, ii bouncey seats, two, two, two. Two force lawnmowers, ii Fisher Price poppers, ii Fisher Price schoolhouse buses... And too hence they grew out of it all too it is passed downwards to babe #4 who finds far to a greater extent than amusement inward his brothers than his toys.

Looking at babe #4, I'm amazed at how quondam our twins are. We are out of the babe stage alongside them-- they are 3 years old! We are moving into the preschool years. How did nosotros wing through that? I notwithstanding recollect the long evenings, double the colds, double the diapers...

And all of a precipitous they are playing games alongside their large blood brother too our solid is at nowadays iii of everything. This was a Christmas of threes. Our garage has shifted from toys for our oldest {one of each} plus toys for our twin toddlers {two of each} to toys for our boys {three of everything}.

I intend peradventure at nowadays they are older too out of the extreme hands on babe phase, peradventure it volition experience to a greater extent than normal to receive got ii children transcend through the stages together. Maybe it volition experience a niggling less intense than when it was ii babies. I don't know. I am only floored that our oldest is at nowadays 6 years old. SIX. Not the tiny babe on my hip. Our twins are 3 years old. THREE. Not the circular babies inward cribs too diapers. And nosotros receive got a fourth baby. What? How fourth dimension flies!

8. "They volition ever survive compared to each other."

There could survive a whole article on this i alone. Yes, yes, yes, yes, a meg times YES. We receive got 4 children too nosotros receive got heard, "Does he slumber similar the other ones? Does he consume similar the other ones? Is he a practiced baby/bad baby/same babe equally the other ones? Does he aspect similar the other ones?" Normal, right? Yup.

But for twins, it is different. We hear that too and hence some. If i of our twins falls off the slide too starts crying, I hear, "Is he the sensitive twin?" If i of our twins is wearing mismatched clothes too the other twin is wearing what I picked out, I hear, "Is he the rebellious twin?" If i of our twins is throwing a fit inward public, I hear, "Is he demanding twin?" If i of our twins says hullo to the people quest if they are twins, I hear, "Is he the outgoing twin?" The are only labeled. Labeled everywhere nosotros move out no thing what they are doing. They are labeled equally the twins too and hence people desire to attribute each too every i of the smallest behaviors they are exhibiting at whatever given minute to which twin they are.

And when our oldest is noticed inward the midst of the twin labeling, he gets asked, "Are you lot a practiced helper alongside your brothers?"

{Face palm}

9. "You volition ever survive instruction people close twins."

Yup.

"My dad is a twin hence I was for sure I would receive got twins."

"My brother's cousin's married adult woman had twins, hence I know my plough is next."

Read my weblog post, "Identical or Fraternal {revised}."

What do you lot intend of this listing too of her article? Do concur that these are unique to twins or do you lot intend they embrace sibling groups equally well?

 

View Megan Shauri's article here: "9 things only parents of twins volition understand," past times Megan Shauri on FamilyShare

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