Eight days a week: disciplining three

Picture taken yesteryear TwinBug Photography at twinbugphotography@yahoo.com

What a morn nosotros direct keep had! The boys woke upward a picayune earlier 6:30 inward foul picayune moods. I heard ane of them screaming similar a banshee in addition to the other 2 arguing. Dragging myself out of bed I was settling he-touched-my-toy in addition to he-hit-me disputes earlier fifty-fifty brewing my commencement loving cup of coffee-- definitely non my favorite way to wake up. From in that location it only went downhill. I spot all the boys dorsum to bed in addition to hoped they would wake upward amongst sunnier dispositions (and mine too). Sadly, breakfast without whining only wasn't inward the cards for us this morning.

So how create you lot create it? How create you lot dependent 3 kids, including two-year former twins? I retrieve this becomes a big query for parents to a greater extent than or less this age. I know I encounter it a lot on parenting boards in addition to on twin groups. It is overwhelming to figure out the logistics of fourth dimension outs when ane two-year former is causing mayhem hither in addition to the other in that location in addition to you lot aren't certain who started what inward the commencement place.

In my final spider web log post, I mentioned our nation of war on whining.

Now that our twins are almost 2 in addition to a half, nosotros direct keep outlawed whining. We don't direct keep it. No whining next along after me. No whining for more. No whining at your brother. No whining for a toy or because you're bored or because you lot don't know the word. They tin dismiss nation "please" or "help, please" or "Momma help, please" or any give-and-take they tin dismiss retrieve of instead of whining. I desire to hear, "More milk, please" or "No, give thank you lot you" or "Foot hurt" or "Cup empty" or "Hungry." Whatever it is, I don't desire to hear: "Moooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom....."

And nosotros are enforcing this. It has been an uphill battle, but nosotros are fighting it. It is worth it. I love when I say, "No whining, sir. You demand to role words," in addition to he says, "Cup empty." I love when I shipping them to their room for whining in addition to say, "You tin dismiss come upward out when you lot are laid upward to halt whining in addition to role words," in addition to he marches his picayune self out 5 minutes afterward amongst a big smiling on his face, laid upward to role words. Those little victories are progress. They brand upward for the times that nosotros spot a toddler inward his room over in addition to over for whining or when nosotros are putting 2 toddlers inward their room over in addition to over ane time again for whining-- long, endless afternoons.

Three kids whining at the kitchen table is like nails on the chalkboard. At those moments, I demand to remind myself of the reasons why I love motherhood: toddler hugs in addition to kisses, floor fourth dimension on the couch, the commencement I love you's, watching the 3 of them play together. There is naught endearing nigh whining. The whining has gotten world's improve since nosotros approached it amongst a theatre hand. I retrieve the nation of war on whining volition only direct keep fourth dimension in addition to consistency.

For other behaviors, it has been lawsuit in addition to error. What plant for ane man child mightiness non operate for another; what is actually effective for ane man child is less effective on another. For instance, fourth dimension outs are heartbreaking for ane of our toddlers in addition to a hilarious joke for the other; our oldest, if nosotros spot him inward fourth dimension out, right away pretends that he is a baby, doing babe verbalize in addition to the whole shtick. And some things only don't operate for me equally the woman rear who is enforcing these things, fifty-fifty if they operate for my friends in addition to their kids. Like ane of my friends says that when her oldest starts pretending to live on a baby, they run amongst it, actually making her alive the life of a babe in addition to all that comes amongst it. While this did instruct their oldest that she did non desire to be a baby anymore, but rather the big sister, I'm much our nigh swift penalization in addition to moving on from the offending deportment immediately.

I've actually been enforcing that bad deportment agency losing privileges, expert deportment agency gaining privileges. This morn when the boys were beingness hence badly behaved, they all lost privileges fifty-fifty though alone ane of them was being exceedingly naughty (the other 2 were goading him).  So after breakfast when they all ran to the gate, ane screaming on the top of this lungs, the others clamoring side yesteryear side to him, "Momma! Momma!" I sent them all to their beds. No more. I had been going inward their room every 5 minutes for the yesteryear 20 minutes in addition to was accomplishing nothing: the kitchen was however a mess in addition to I was no closer to beingness laid upward for church. I told them that I would non settle every ane of their petty disputes-- they demand to operate it out. And in that location they sat, each ane on his ain bed, no talking, no getting off their beds, no hollering for mom. I made them rest on their beds until I finished my to-do list. I got laid upward in addition to I finished cleaning upward the kitchen. The toddlers had a difficult fourth dimension staying on their beds. They would spot a toy across the room in addition to endeavor to run to pick out deal of it. When I heard them, I came in, took the toy away, in addition to sent them dorsum to their beds. They alone got upward twice during their loss of privileges. Our oldest knew improve than to move out of bed in addition to was sadly watching his wallet resting at the bottom of his ladder. It had fallen off his bed, the top bunk, when he was settling inward in addition to he wished he had it upward in that location amongst him.

Consistency. It is exhausting. It is exhausting the days that they don't desire to withdraw heed in addition to exhausting breaking habits they formed during our transition current from moving. We allowed a lot of things during the madness of this yesteryear deed (read "Asthma, STA-21, commissioning, in addition to PCSing-- yikes!"). Some days I am hence glad that nosotros direct keep chosen the battles that nosotros have. I love when I encounter them using the work solving skills we've taught them. I'm sitting exterior amongst them correct at nowadays in addition to ane of the toddlers knocked a ball into the gutter. Instead of screaming loudly similar he did the whole commencement calendar week nosotros moved hither (our novel driveway has a slight slant), he said, "Help please, brother," in addition to our oldest came over in addition to got it for him. Or when ane of the boys accidentally runs into ane of his brothers in addition to right away says, "I'm sorry! Are you lot okay?" (or "Sorry! Okay?" equally the toddlers say), instead of rushing to me, "I didn't hateful to! I didn't create anything!" Other days I only want they would all learn along. I actually dislike settling these knock downwardly drag out petty disputes commencement matter inward the morning. Maybe I should operate on a rule: no fighting until Momma has had a loving cup or 2 of coffee? :)

The hardest matter nigh dependent or working out unseemly behaviors is the temptation to compare yourself or your kids to other families. It is hence difficult non to wonder what "she's doing different" when you lot encounter a mom at the grocery store amongst kids happily riding inward the grocery cart. It is difficult non to wonder why your kids won't portion when you lot encounter brothers stacking blocks together on a playdate. You encounter a mom tell her kids to knock it off, without counting to 3 or dishing out threats, in addition to you lot think, "How does she learn them to withdraw heed to her??" I don't know. I try non to compare. I love the times that my boys are the well-behaved boys, the few in addition to far betwixt times. We went to Target yesterday in addition to all 3 of them walked similar gentlemen the whole trip including waiting at the check-out counter; all the customers kept complimenting their sweetness faces in addition to expert manners. This is inward stark contrast to the trip my mom in addition to I took the other 24-hour interval when she was inward town visiting. Our oldest outburst into tears inward the parking lot because she veered away from us equally nosotros were walking to the store, "Where is Momma going?!" Our toddlers refused to ride inward the shopping cart seats in addition to nosotros instead spent the entire trip telling them to "sit down!" inward the shopping cart baskets. One of the toddlers ended having a full-blown temper tantrum in addition to my mom had to leave of absence the store amongst him. We cutting our errands brusque in addition to came domicile for early on tiffin in addition to early on nap; nosotros never did halt upward going on the 2d one-half our shopping outing. Those 2 trips were hence vastly different, yet they were the same kids, same fourth dimension of day. I experience similar I spin the Wheel of Fortune every fourth dimension I leave of absence the house, "Will this live on a expert trip or a bad trip?"

The other struggle is non wanting to live on "that mom." Oh, you lot know, "that mom." That mom you lot saw earlier you lot had kids, deafly pushing a shopping cart of screaming kids through the romance novel department inward Target. That mom at the commons vacantly texting equally her kids rub dirt inward each other's hair. That mom caving at the banking venture stand upward for out counter in addition to buying a candy bar for a grubby modest already asset a sippy loving cup of juice in addition to a bundle of gluey fruits. And hither I am, sitting out forepart amongst my boys equally they shovel dirt onto our basketball game goal acre I write a spider web log post. I wonder what people would retrieve of this snapshot of my life. That actually is what those moments are when you lot encounter these mothers that you lot don't know: a snapshot. I've bribed my kids at the grocery store the 24-hour interval before, for diverse reasons. My hubby in addition to I lately bribed our kids when nosotros made a Costco run the eve our HHG's were delivered. We needed to learn mattresses for our boys' room. I wonder what people idea of us there as nosotros pushed these big carts amongst 3 mattresses piled on, our boys eating purse after purse of applesauce. Not every battle at every 2d is worth fighting; I learn that. Consistency volition win the war, but kids tin dismiss win a battle every at nowadays in addition to then.

This was shared a lot the other calendar week yesteryear my mommy friends on Facebook: We are moms"

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